Our sub (substitute) prof in ETAR shared a few of the so-called “UP Professors’ Quotable Quotes.” I searched for them online while on a break from thesis, and I reposted the funny ones (at least to me). XD The funniest ones to me are the first few ones.

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“The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala kayong saysay lahat. Pag may kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA LANG! TUBIG!” – Dr. Recio

“Deep Breathly…” -Prof. Sabado, PE

Class: Sir, sa exams po ba nagbibigay kayo ng partial points?
Prof: Hmm.. if i see partial wisdom

Terror prof after an exam (last day na din ng class..): “Ok class.. see you next sem!”

“Naku! Sikmuraan kita sa batok eh!”

“Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno. Bakit? Aanhin ko ba yun? Di naman ako yayaman dun.” – Sir Atoy Navarro (histo1)

“It’s okay to smoke inside my class. As long as you don’t breathe it out.” – Dr. Obsioma, Biodiversity

“Class, for your FYI..”

“Class, love is MASTICAL. MYSTICAL + MAGICAL = MASTICAL” -Prof. Tiamson, Spanish

“Bawal kang ma-pressure…hindi ka GAS.” and  “Bawal kang ma-excite…hindi ka ELECTRON.”

“I don’t give surprise long exams. all exams are announced. Halimbawa, Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!” – Ma’am Chei

“You may wear anything you want to wear. People are not supposed to be judged by the clothes they wear. Thus, wearing the latest fashion or one that belongs to the fashion archive does not really make a difference. Just make sure that you have the right to wear it. Spare the class of the agony of having to look at your clothes, no matter how good or sexy you think you are in that outfit, if reality tells otherwise.” – Sir Quilop, Polsci

“Ano bang natapos mo? Italian 8? Punyetissima!” – Sir Tiamson, Italian 11

Ma’am: Many people believe that we, psychology graduates can read minds…
(silence)
Ma’am: Actually, we can.
Class: Weh…sample.
Ma’am: Right now, you think that I’m bluffing. – Ms. Chei Billedo (Psych)

“Do not live long enough to be worthless.” – Dr. David

One day pumasok ng room and prof, galit na galit. hinagis ang bag sa table, nagwawala sa harap ng room dahil hindi daw nasagot ng previous class niya ang question niya. kaya dapat daw masagot namin, ang makasagot may plus points. kapag walang makasagot, lagot kami. Ang tanong…. “Class, sinong lalaking artista dun sa TV show na wonder years?”

“Running for summa ka? Mapapagod ka lang.”

Si sir agapito..habang 2nd exam at malakas ang ulan..
“ang lakas ng ulan, ayos yan at least hindi halata pag umiiyak..”

“I do not know many. I only know enough to teach my classes.”

“Don’t take the bar and yourselves too seriously. Baka mabalitaan na lang namin na nag-o-oral summation kayo sa Luneta. O lumulutang-lutang sa Pasig River. Enjoy yourselves, relax, and read at least 15 hours a day. Nakakabobo ang sobrang tulog. Mag-relax ka habang nagbabasa. Mag-relax habang nagmememorize.”

“Ang hindi maka-100, bobo!”

“The more wisdom you obtain, the more you shut your mouth. This is because the more you learn, the more you realize that there are even more things that you do not know. The true mark of an idiot is a loud mouth and the true mark of a wise man is humility.” – Paraphrased galing kay PI100. (Best prof sa CAL.)

“You are laughing because you are looking at the viewpoint of ignorance. – history II prof

(Second to the last meeting) “Okay class, next week, we start the lecture proper.” – Ms. Vitriolo

“We do not accept anyone here in class except for those who are members of a certain minority group. For example, gays are part of a minority group. Bakla ka ba? If you admit to this class that you are gay, then I’ll admit you.” – Prof “Hail to the chair” (haha)

Student: Ma’am pwede po bang next week na kami mag-report?
Ma’am: Alam mo, God is good. And I am God. So yes, pwede next week.

(No one is reciting)
Prof: “Wag na mahiya, you have nothing to lose but your face..”
– Ma’am Cathy, Geol 11

Sources: 1 2 3 4